We understand that sometimes it is sometimes to do things or get our of our comfort zone. Sometimes getting out of bed is so hard or talking to restaurant staff or co-workers can be really hard.

I encourage as many people as possible to join me in this challenge in overcoming one or more things that are usually difficult for us to do.

We shall begin this challenge this July and we shall post our milestones at the end of the month! :)

I do hope you join us!

Hello,

I know I have scheduled a lot of posts and even became inactive for more than one month. I promise to try to post as often as I could for the next coming months!

Currently Toska has 2 writers and only one active one. If you have stories or opinions to share, you may comment here or contact us and we'd gladly accommodate you. ^_^

We understand that you mean well and we know you mean to do good with your words of comfort. To make things easier for you when you comfort friends, here are really good phrases to hear on a regular basis but not when they are having an attack.

I would just like all of you to note that I have experienced both sides of this situation, I have been the one comforting and the one in need of comfort.

IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY

I know you are trying to reassure me that everything will be okay but right now I don't feel like it is okay and you repeatedly telling me that isn't going to make it okay. As I am having this attack I feel that nothing is okay and I what I want and need is for it to be okay now and not later. Hearing that it is going to be okay, make me think 'Why can't it be okay now?! Why do I have to feel this!?'

Alternative: IT'S ALRIGHT

I am currently undergoing feelings and emotions that I want for to go away because I know I shouldn't have them. It makes me feel that I am doing something wrong, I know it will pass, that it is going to be okay. If I hear you tell me that 'It's alright,' it won't instantly heal me but somehow calm me down.

It's alright that I am feeling this way.
It's alright that it won't go away right now.
It's alright if it takes time.

WHAT'S WRONG

I get you are trying to understand me, I get that you want to know what is going on so that you can attack it head on but honestly I don't know what is wrong. These attacks may be triggered by something but the trigger is not the reason. I won't be crying in this corner and screaming frustrated because I know what is wrong.

Alternative: WHAT'S UP

Yes,yes it doesn't stop the asking question thing but hear me out! When you hear the question, 'What's wrong,' you can't answer 'Nothing is wrong,' as tears stream down your face or as you throw a tantrum that could rival a 5-year-old not getting the toy they wanted from the store.

The question 'What's up' gives a small reassurance that hey something isn't wrong with how things are right now just asking about you in general and I can honestly say "I don't know" and not feel frustrated.

GET EXERCISE, KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY!

Yes! A run around the park would totally get rid of this thing I feel everyday! I just need to keep my mind working right?!

N.O.P.E. there comes a time when even keeping my mind busy won't be of any help (as most websites suggest) because I just can't get my heavy body off my bed to do anything.

Alternative: DON'T SAY ANYTHING

Please, if this statement is the solution you think we need don't say it. Don't open your mouth, this will most likely cause the person you are speaking to, to stop talking to you and sharing their feelings with you.

Instead, you will get this look from us:


DON'T MAKE OTHERS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

All we wanted was a bit of help from you, we thought you could listen to our woes. I am sorry that I have become unbearable.

Alternative: DON'T SAY ANYTHING

Just no. Just sssh, tell us straight up that it has become too much for you. Please.

Dear Everyone who dare judge us,

When I was in grade school, we had a staircase that led to two small computer labs. There I encountered my first situation that made me ask the question, what is suicide?

This area was in the gymnasium where we would spend our breaks, the second floor was a good place to hide.

During one of my lunches, I ran to the staircase and was stopped when I saw a group of older girls huddled together at the bottom of the steps. They all looked at me but what stuck to me was this girl in the middle crying her eyes out and bandages on her wrists, I bowed my head and ran away to look for my friends.

Is she okay? Why was she crying? Why did she have bandages on her wrist?

I asked one of my friends, she told me that there was a fad among the older girls where they would cut their wrists. A fad, that meant a lot of people were doing it then. It made me think, if it was a fad then why was she crying.

Soon rumors circulated that said girl was actually stopped from committing suicide. It made me wonder more if she was saved why was she crying.

Back then I already understood the word suicide, but not its reasons. I did not know nor understand the what and why of it but I know it was bad to take your own life. Why is it bad? I didn't know then and I still don't know now.

The Philippines' suicide rate is comparably low to the U.S. or Japan, but according to studies, there has been a steady increase over a period of 20 years. It was found in 2012 that as many as seven people took their life away in a day, roughly one person dying every three hours.

Yet along with this alarming changes, the stigma on suicide is still evident.

Stigma is defined as a mark that denotes a shameful quality in the individual. A mark of disgrace, a stain on a person's reputation. The society does well in stigmatizing suicide (well, mental illness in general). We easily are able to blame the person who decided to end it.

There are great hurdles that need to be jumped to understand what it is. These hurdles aren't only meant to be jumped by people that are directly affected. The stigma chases after those who had tried to commit it, those living with those who tried (may they have failed or succeeded) and even doctors.

It is so easy to say, they already know that it is wrong. They already know the shame this will bring upon. Why do they do it?

Why indeed? I myself has entertained the idea of living this world early.

Sometimes the ideas come as soon as I open my eyes or before I close them to rest.
Sometimes the ideas come while I sit and work on projects.
They pop out, then they are gone for a minute then pop out again.

If you share these thoughts with anyone, they will get mad. I've been told off by my close relatives time and time again, "Itigil mo yang kalokohan mo. Hindi nakakatuwa!" (Stop this nonsense, it's not funny.)

I understand that they fear death coming too early, but I hope you see that this is not a joke. To anyone reading this right now who had told their children or anyone this, it is not a joke. Please don't just chuck it aside or give your generalized advice. It makes us mad because you didn't try to understand it and just decided this is what people do and so this is what you must do.

I have harmed myself more than once during panic attacks. Because the pain brings us back, it makes me feel in control in this out control moment. It is the real pain among these worries.

I can hear the chorus shouts saying, "If these are enough for you, why do people need to kill themselves? Why can't they just inflict small pains to calm themselves?"

Sometimes a bit of control is just not enough, everything is too much and we simply want it to end. The sweet allure of eternal silence becomes the one and only option so that they won't continue hating the world.

This isn't for everyone, but a small glimpse. The stigma that it is shameful to lose someone to suicide must end. The people who choose to do this is not a shame to your family, it is not because they are crazy, it is not because they want to hurt you.

They simply wanted the hurting to stop.

The fear of not being able to call out and ask for help because of the judgment that follows may trigger people to push further. Perhaps the next time someone taps you and says this hold their hand or give them a pat on the head.

I have no knowledge on Mental Resilience. Honestly, I don't think my mind is skilled enough to endure hardship. I got the following information from Mayo Clinic's website.

You can see the exact article here, it also gives you more tests and read up on this topic.

Resilience: Build skills to endure hardship
Resilience means being able to adapt to life's misfortunes and setbacks. Test your resilience level and get tips to build your own resilience.

When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart?

When you have resilience, you harness inner strength that helps you rebound from a setback or challenge, such as a job loss, an illness, a disaster or the death of a loved one. If you lack resilience, you might dwell on problems, feel victimized, become overwhelmed or turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse.

Resilience won't make your problems go away — but resilience can give you the ability to see past them, find enjoyment in life and better handle stress. If you aren't as resilient as you'd like to be, you can develop skills to become more resilient.

Adapting to adversity

Resilience is the ability to roll with the punches. When stress, adversity or trauma strikes, you still experience anger, grief, and pain, but you're able to keep functioning — both physically and psychologically. However, resilience isn't about toughing it out, being stoic or going it alone. In fact, being able to reach out to others for support is a key component of being resilient.

Resilience and mental health

Resilience can help protect you from various mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Resilience can also help offset factors that increase the risk of mental health conditions, such as being bullied or previous trauma. If you have an existing mental health condition, being resilient can improve your ability to cope.

Tips to improve your resilience

If you'd like to become more resilient, consider these tips:
Get connected. Building strong, positive relationships with loved ones and friends can provide you with needed support and acceptance in both good times and bad. Establish other important connections by volunteering or joining a faith or spiritual community.
Make every day meaningful. Do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose every day. Set goals to help you look toward the future with meaning.
Learn from experience. Think of how you've coped with hardships in the past. Consider the skills and strategies that helped you through rough times. You might even write about past experiences in a journal to help you identify positive and negative behavior patterns — and guide your future behavior.
Remain hopeful. You can't change the past, but you can always look toward the future. Accepting and even anticipating change makes it easier to adapt and view new challenges with less anxiety.
Take care of yourself. Tend to your own needs and feelings. Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Include physical activity in your daily routine. Get plenty of sleep. Eat a healthy diet. Practice stress management and relaxation techniques, such as yoga, meditation, guided imagery, deep breathing or prayer.
Be proactive. Don't ignore your problems. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a plan, and take action. Although it can take time to recover from a major setback, traumatic event or loss, know that your situation can improve if you work at it.

When to seek professional advice

Becoming more resilient takes time and practice. If you don't feel you're making progress — or you don't know where to start — consider talking to a mental health provider. With guidance, you can improve your resiliency and mental well-being.

As people with anxiety, we understand how scary it is to reach out and talk to others about what we are going through.

It is scary to step into a doctor's office and be ready to bare yourself to a stranger. It may even be a trigger to some people, as a million thoughts go through our minds.

"What do I tell the doctor?"
"How do I answer if they asked me, what's wrong?"
"Where do I begin?!"

We were able to encounter a few forms from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) that could help you take a small step towards getting help.

You can check out those forms here.

We will continue to update and get more forms like this. We would like to remind everyone that these forms will not give you an online diagnosis but provide you a few questions you can show your doctor.

We hope this helps!